Thursday 28 April 2011

Funny sms--A man went 4 blood test

A man went 4 blood test. Nurse took his blood. But she didn't find any cotton. So she suck his finger. The man became happy and said would I have Urine test next time?

Funny sms--I want to suck it... lick it..

I want to suck it... lick it... wanna move my tongue all over it... wanna feel it in my mouth...yep, it is my ice-cream & that's how I...eat..... ice-cream !

Funny sms--stay in my heart. Offer valid till I am alive......

Keep contact with me & win exciting prizes. >3rd prize-lots of love. >2nd prize-life time Friendship. > 1st prize-free stay in my heart. Offer valid till I am alive......

Funny sms--India is empty without Taj-mahal

India is empty without Taj-mahal, sundarbon is empty without tigher, Man is empty without love, But Zoo is empty without u.

Funny sms--I am ur real friend

I am ur real friend. If u give me 1, I will return u 10. If u give me a pen I will return u train. If u give me ur girlfriend I will return her with some children.

Funny sms--after 9 month of valentine day

Do u know,why 14 november is celebrated as childrens day?bcoz it cums just after 9 month of valentine day.

Funny sms--"I LOVE U." *OFFER LIMITED*

"I LOVE U." Send this SMS to 10 Girls & win free trip to ur nearest police station in luxury Jeep, Food, Accommodation &body massage free. *OFFER LIMITED*

Funny sms--love marriage” and “arranged marriage”

Its funny when people discuss over “love marriage” and “arranged marriage”
It is like asking a person if he would like to “hang himself” or “shoot himself”.

Funny sms--World’s Shortest Horror Story

World’s Shortest Horror Story By “Martin Garner”
Contains Only The Following Lines..
“When The World’s Last Man
Was Alone In His Room,
The Door Was Knocked.”

Funny sms--irlfriend is never a wife

Luv
Easy to say - Difficult to stay...
Beautiful to feel - Difficult to deal...
Difficulty is a part of Life...
But That's the reason...
Why Girlfriend is never a wife?

Funny sms--A person who SURRENDERS

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

Funny sms--Never hold ur farts in

Never hold ur farts in. They travel up ur spine, into ur brain and that's where u get ur shitty ideas from!

Funny sms--In life 5 things can come at any time

In life 5 things can come at any time...
Money
friendship
Love
death
and
????
MY SMS.
Have a nice day!

Funny sms--U R 100% beautiful

U R 100% beautiful,
U R 100% lovely,
U R 100% sweet,
U R 100% nice, and
U R 100% stupid to believe these words...

Funny sms--Newton's law of Love

Newton's law of Love:-
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed;
it can only be changed from
one girl friend to another...

Funny sms--4 a brain transplant

If I ever go 4 a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

Funny sms--build up the pressure.

Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

Funny sms--American life style

Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

Funny sms--Twinkle twinkle little star

Twinkle twinkle little star,
u should know what u r,
and once u know what u r,
Mental hospital is not so far.

Friendship message--Full form of FRIENSHIP:-

Full form of FRIENSHIP:-
F-Fun
R-Rational
I-Impartial
E-Emotional
N-Never Ending
D-Dependable
S-Special
H-Heart
I-lnteresting
P-Priceless

Funny sms--I need you...

I need you...
I love you...
I can't go anywhere
without you...
Oh My Lovely..
Shoes!

Friendship sms--Friends are like a page

Friends are like a page in a book of life,
Every page with a different subject.
But best friends r d index page
covering every subject.
Thx 4 being index page of my life.

Friendship sms--Vacancy available

Vacancy available
post = true friend
Ability = (loving & caring)
Experience= (not required)
Duty = (two sms daily)
Salary= (never ending love)

Friendship sms--hurt without “YOU”

Friends change, I know they do..
but I will always belong to you..
Friends hurt I know they do.
But I get more hurt without “YOU”

Friendship sms--keep friendship wid u

Missing u iz my “HOBBY”
Care 4 U, is my “JOB”
Make u happy, is my “DREAM”
Pray 4 u, is my “DUTY”
&
2 keep friendship wid u,
is my “CHOICE”

Friendship sms--Some friends forget

Some friends forget
Some move away
Some keep silent
Some just change
But I’m not 1 of them.
I’m ur friend 4 two moments
now & 4ever…!

Friendship sms--Most Important Person

I May Not Be The Most Important Person In Your Life But I just Hope
That One Day…When You Hear My Name You Will Just Smile
& Say Hey That’s My Friend..!!!

Friendship sms--friendship is evergreen

Ice is a cream, luv is a dream but r friendship is evergreen. Don't make friends b4 understanding & don't break a friendship after misunderstanding.

Friendship sms--world stop turning

Let the world stop turning,
Let the sun stop burning,
But Let not my friends to lov me.

Friendship sms--deep like Ocean

Friendship is vast like Universe, deep like Ocean, high like Sky, strong like Iron, kind like Mother, cute like Me, and sweet like U!

Friendship sms--1 Advice- Don’t change

1 Advice- Don’t change, 1 request- take care, 1 wish- Don't forget me, 1 Lie- I hate U, 1 truth- I Miss U, 1 hope- We'll always be Gud Friends.a

Friendship sms--FRIENDSHIP is vast like UNIVERSE

FRIENDSHIP is vast like UNIVERSE.
Deep like OCEAN.
High like SKY.
Strong like IRON.
Kind like MOTHER.
& cute like u

Friendship sms--I wana keep3 things: .

I wana keep3 things: . .
The SUN . . The MOON . . &.My frndz. . .
Sun4 daytime. . .
Moon for night time. . . &
U.My dear frndz 4 LIFETIME.

Friendship sms--Friends are countless

Friends are countless,
But true friends are few
all angels in heaven know I need u.

Friendship sms--Full form of FRIENSHIP:-

Full form of FRIENSHIP:-
F-Fun
R-Rational
I-Impartial
E-Emotional
N-Never Ending
D-Dependable
S-Special
H-Heart
I-lnteresting
P-Priceless

Friendship sms--always be my FRIEND,

In this WORLD,
where everything seems UNCERTAIN,
only one thing is DEFINITE.
You’ll always be my FRIEND,
beyond WORDS, beyond TIME
&
beyond DISTANCE!

always friends forever Friendship sms

Distances never separate any relation,
time never breaks any relation.
If feelings r true from heart,
then friends r always friends forever!

Know our friendship Friendship sms

Know our friendship will never end
When the dark hurts you,
And you are scared to look ahead.
You can look beside you.
And your best friend will be there 4 u.

Friendship strong Friendship sms

The wrong kind of people dislikes you 4 the good in you & the right kind of peoples like you knowing even the bad in you. That makes a Friendship strong…

old Friendship sms

Make new friends,
But keep the old.
New one is silver,
The old one is gold.

In my Friendship Garden Friendship sms

In my Friendship Garden,
Grows a Flower
rare and true.
I look a little closer
and find that it is you.

Guess Who? it’s ur Dog! Funny sms

Some One
Is Loving you
Caring for you
Watching over you
Protecting you
Guess Who?

it’s ur Dog!

Who's hot... Its U Funny sms

Who's hot... Its U,
Who's
Charming... Its U,
Who's
Sweetest.. Its U,
Who's
Intelligent... Its U,
Who's dear & near friend... Its U
Who's a liar.. Its me!

Enough about ME Funny sms

Handsome,
Sweet,
Intelligent, Spontaneous,
Good Looking,
Nice Friends, Charming,
Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?

friend is going 2 b expired today Funny sms

Ur validity of being my friend is going 2 b expired today,plz recharge ur friendship immodestly by delivering 4-5 sweet & cool msgs. So hurry

I suggested ur name Funny sms

Last night some Monkeys came running to my room.They wanted to trouble good people... I suggested ur name.They said Oh!!!No we can t disturb our Boss...

We’ve known Funny sms

We’ve known....each other for....quite a while now, do u think we can b more.... than friends? coz I like u very much. Will u b my partner 2... rob a bank?

symptoms of A-I-D-S Funny sms

I'm shocked 2 know, i'm really upset.
I dont know how 2 inform U.
Bt I've 2 let U know dat U've symptoms of
A-I-D-S
(Adoring, Intelligent, Dear, Sweet) !!

Life is full of beautiful things Funny sms

Life is full of beautiful things:
soft sunsets,
painted rainbows
delicate blossoms
luv & laughter
quiet moments &
fantastic people like me
Take care

love me after marriage also? Funny sms

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

difference between magnets and women Funny sms

Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women
A: magnets have a positive side

HEART!!! But I luv the way u think Naughty SMS

Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
Ans:
HEART!!! But I luv the way u think...

dog asks mama dog Naughty SMS

A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like. Mama dog said: "Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance 2 see its face carefully!"

Do u like mathematics? Naughty SMS

Do u like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

Hey buddy, why are u doing that Naughty SMS

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said 2 the guy, "Hey buddy, why are u doing that?" He said, "Because u came home early."

It’s Car Seat Belt Naughty SMS

A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
U dirty mind
It’s Car Seat Belt

Skin meets Skin Naughty SMS

Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES

how she felt in Services Naughty SMS

A General asks a young lady officer, how she felt in Services?
Lady: Very fine, whole day passes in saying Yes Sir, Yes Sir & the whole night in No Sir, No Sir!

good friend is like Naughty SMS

A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find, very comfortable, supportive, and always close 2 the heart.....

Speech should be like mini-skirt Naughty SMS

Speech should be like mini-skirt: long enough 2 cover the "main subject" and short enough 2 keep the interest!!

Parents never make a mistake funny sms

Summer comes again & Again
Winter commes again n again
But
A person like u never comes again ?& again
Bcoz
Parents never make a mistake again n again

drunk last night Naughty SMS

wife - u were so drunk last night that u insulted ur boss
husband - piss him
wife - u did that and he fired u
husband - fuck him
wife - I did that! and u can go 2 work from tomorrow

An Elephant, a Cow n a monkey funny sms

An Elephant, a Cow n a monkey
Arguing who is the Best
Elephant: I help people moveing heavy loads
Cow: I give milk
.
.
.
.
Say something
Its ur turn now!

3 FEELINGS funny sms

3 FEELINGS
what is the difference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant

nice drink…PEPSI funny sms

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

not fool like u my friend funny sms

All man of this world are not fool like u my friend. Some are bachelor.

SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED funny sms

In you need advice, text me...
If you need a friend, call me...
If you need me, come to me...
If you need money..... The SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

enough space 4 another girl funny sms

Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart 4 this may mean that there is still enough space 4 another girl on top.

sending you various type of SMS funny sms

Hi, My sweet friend I am sending you various type of SMS to make you laugh.SMS sMs SmS smS sMS SMs SMs

L o n g t i m e a g o... funny sms

L o n g t i m e a g o... o n l y idiots used... to read my S M S. N, t o d a y, the history continues...

puzzle game funny sms

CONGRATS.ur phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play, throw your phone against the wall.Then assemble the pieces...

BEST and WORST news funny sms

What is a BEST and WORST news u can hear at the SAME time?
It is when ur Girl Friend says U are the BEST KISSER among all ur Friends.

NOT PUNISH TWICE funny sms

Why Government do NOT allow a Man 2 MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, u can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

extremely BEAUTIFUL funny sms

A FOOLish man tells a woman 2 STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL. funny sms

When ur LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him 2 free u from Darkness.
Even after u pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

NOT have a Girl Friend funny sms

If u do NOT have a Girl Friend - U are missing SOME thing in ur life.
If u HAVE a Girl Friend - U are missing EVERY thing in ur life.

nice cold glass of beer funny sms

I like 2 compare u with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty I just take the next one!

What is a Girl Friend? funny sms

What is a Girl Friend? Ans: Addition of Problem, Substraction of Money, Multiplication of Enemy, Division of Friends.... So be careful

very tuff in an exam funny sms

If question is very tuff in an exam, just close ur eyes 4 a moment,take a deep breath n say "Dis is very intresting subject, I want 2 study once more"

I Like Grapes funny sms

I Like Grapes
Bcoz Its Boneless.
And I Like u
Bcoz...
u r Brainless
Ha..Ha..Ha..

cute people only funny sms

This message is strictly intended for cute people only. Since u accidentally received it, there must be a technical error for which I deeply apologize.

I can't marry you joke sms

Girlfriend: I can't marry you. I am one year elder to you.
Boyfriend: Don't worry; I love you so much that I can wait for one year.

finger for blood test joke sms

1st Patient was crying loudly. 2nd Patient asked "Why" ?
1st Patient: They will cut my finger for blood test. Hearing this 2nd Patient started crying even louder.
1st Patient asked "Why" ?
2nd Patient: I have come for my urine test.

remarry joke sms

Husband: If I die, will you remarry? Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry? Husband: No, I'll also stay with your sister. !!! :)

Pregnant Lady joke sms

Little boy: Aunty, what is inside your stomach?
Pregnant Lady: It's a cute little baby.
Little Boy: If it is cute, why did u eat it?

girlfriend joke sms

1st Friend: I and my girlfriend are getting married.
2nd Friend: Oh great, but when is the marriage?
1st Friend: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th.

chemical formula joke sms

Chemistry Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?
Student: H I J K L M N O.
Chemistry Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday U said H to O.

hair white mom joke sms

Kid: Why are some of your hair white mom?
Mom: Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hair turns white. Kid thought for a moment, and then said, "Mamma, how come *all* of grandma’s hair are white?”

cost to get married joke sms

Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married.
Father: I never calculated, I am still paying for it. :(

honeymoon with a friend joke sms

1st Friend: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
2nd Friend: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

son and father joke sms

Son: Why are all these people running?
Father: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Son: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running ???

Miss u funny sms

u must be a good runner cos u r always running in my mind, u must be a good thief cos u have stolen my heart, n I am always a bad shooter cos I Always Miss u.

love someone funny sms

If u love someone, put their name in a circle, instead of a heart, because hearts can break, but circles go on forever

L O V E funny sms

L O V E .. L = Lot of Sorrows. O = Ocean of Tears. V = Valley of Death. E = End of life....

love at first sight funny sms

Do u believe in love at first sight? Or do I have 2 say the 3 sweet words later?

delete this message funny sms

If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me. .. If u save it thats bcoz u desire me .. & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with It?

Love is sweet poison funny sms

Love is sweet poison, do not consume without your wife .Consume it in a cool and dark place.

fall in love funny sms

If u fall in river there is a boat.If u fall in well there is a rope. But if u fall in love there is no hope

hospital funny sms

I am in hospital now. After 5 minutes, I will be transferred 2 a surgery room. The doctor told me, I will die if I stop RECEIVING YOUR SMS.

funny sms

Clouds r white but the sky is blue, monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, don’t get
angry ull find me there 2, not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha

funny sms

What happened 2 ur mobile? I was trying 2 call u but I got this msg: welcome 2 Da jungle network, Da monkey u r trying 2 call is on da tree plz try later.